I read something today, how someone found themselves after the breakdown of an eight-year relationship (marriage). Naturally as it happens, I thought about myself and the events in my life – the one’s that really had a profound impact in my life.
Everything in life has a beginning and end, even the most cherished relationships in our life, and its either we separate by choice or separated by the inevitable- death. For me death has played a vital role in shaping me into the person I am today, its influenced my character, my choices and the way I chose to live life an awful lot.
The first time I experienced the loss of a loved one, was when I was 15. I lost my Dad, something I found hard to understand as I always had this naïve thought – our parents will be around forever. Losing my Dad was a rollercoaster of emotions as I tried to find my way through the world and understand the new person I was becoming. At 27, I still experience these waves of emotions only this time I have got better at coping with it. In fact, I’ve come to realise when people would say to me ‘your Dad is looking down at you’ (I would shrug my shoulders at first), that he indeed is. It’s an energy that I had to believe in and allow myself to receive. And it’s one of the most heart-warming experiences in life, to feel his presence, a guiding shoulder – to know in what ever heavenly dimension he maybe in that I am protected by his light and love.
A year ago I lost a dear friend, for some reason it is a story I don’t feel comfortable yet to share. But losing her of course was not any easy. But in losing my loved one’s I really did find myself through the grief. By giving myself time, love and affection. I poured all the love that I had for them into myself, in a way my grief became love.
Yoga, journaling, spending time in nature and around spiritual people and pure energy helped me on my journey. I came to the realisation; I could grieve for a life-time or I could love and heal – I decided to go with the latter.
As I write this, I think back to the 15 year old me and I smile because I am so proud of her.
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